When You Defend the Spouse Who Was Unfaithful to Family and Friends
Betrayal is painful enough. But defending the spouse who broke your heart—to family and friends who are furious and want you to hate them—feels like standing in an emotional crossfire. You can’t fully let go of love, even when trust is shattered. That’s what makes it so complicated. Let’s talk about why.
20 Key Differences Between Genuine Love vs. Fantasy Love of an Affair
Fantasy Love of an Affair (Limerence) vs. Companionship Love of Marriage
One of the most heartbreaking things we hear from betrayed spouses is,
“They say they’ve never felt this way before.
That they think the affair partner is their soulmate.
How do I compete with that?”
It’s devastating. But it’s also not uncommon. Many affairs, especially emotionally charged ones, are driven by a powerful experience called limerence. It’s a form of obsessive, addictive love that creates a kind of emotional high—what some call love sickness. For many unfaithful spouses, the affair begins as a connection or friendship, but then quickly transforms into an intense, all-consuming attachment that feels impossible to walk away from.
Often, that intensity is compared to the quieter, steadier love they feel toward their spouse—what researchers call companionship love. And because limerence feels more “alive,” more urgent, they mistake it for the real thing.
But here’s the truth: limerence is not real love. And companionship love—though less flashy—is more stable, meaningful, and capable of lasting a lifetime. We’re going to break both down in the following sections ahead.
Understanding Anxious Attachment Style: Causes, Symptoms, and the Path to Healing
Have you ever felt like you care too much in relationships—only to end up feeling not quite enough? You love deeply, you show up fully, and still… there’s a pit in your stomach when they don’t text back. You replay conversations, scan for rejection, and wonder, “Is it me?” If that sounds familiar, this article is for you.
4 Toxic Cycles That Fuel Infidelity and How to Break Them for Lasting Healing
Letter to the Affair Partner To End The Affair
When you opt in, you’ll receive a powerful, ready-to-send “Closure Letter” to help you end your affair with clarity, dignity, and finality.
Click here to receive our “Closure Letter” template for free.
This letter isn’t just words—it’s a turning point. It gives you the language to close the door on the affair partner for good, honor your commitment to your spouse, and take a bold step toward healing your marriage.
Betrayed and Broken? The Surprising Path to Emotional Healing After Betrayal Trauma
If you’ve found yourself here, it means you’ve already faced the unimaginable—the betrayal of someone you trusted, someone you loved. And I want you to know that you’re not alone in this. What you’re feeling right now—anger, confusion, heartbreak—are natural reactions to an unnatural situation. But here’s the thing: this moment doesn’t define the rest of your life.
I know it’s hard to believe that, maybe even impossible to imagine right now. But healing is real. Transformation is possible, even when it feels like your world has crumbled into pieces.