Some couples never get to experience the deeper forms of love—not because they don’t want to, but because they bail before love has a chance to mature. They know how to fall in love, how to flirt, how to feel the rush of eros or the fun of ludus. But the moment love asks for something more—sacrifice, vulnerability, accountability—they flinch. They equate tension with incompatibility, struggle with failure, and instead of leaning in, they opt out. What they don’t realize is that love, real love, doesn’t fully reveal itself until after the first crisis.
Types of Love in a Relationship: The Ancient Secret That Could Save Your Marriage After Infidelity
The truth is, not all love is the same. What we call "love" can take many forms—some thrilling, some steady, some selfless. And if you're trying to rebuild a relationship after it’s been shaken or shattered, understanding what kind of love brought you together—and what kind can help you heal—is essential. That’s where the ancient Greeks can help. They had seven words for love. Seven different kinds of connection, each with its own strengths, limits, and role in a relationship.
Let’s begin with the kind of love that most relationships start with—the passionate, magnetic pull that feels like fate…
Betrayed? Why You Love, Hate, and Can’t Let Go of the Unfaithful Spouse
The Heartbreaking Way Betrayal Rewires Your Marriage Forever!
When You Defend the Spouse Who Was Unfaithful to Family and Friends
Betrayal is painful enough. But defending the spouse who broke your heart—to family and friends who are furious and want you to hate them—feels like standing in an emotional crossfire. You can’t fully let go of love, even when trust is shattered. That’s what makes it so complicated. Let’s talk about why.
20 Key Differences Between Genuine Love vs. Fantasy Love of an Affair
Fantasy Love of an Affair (Limerence) vs. Companionship Love of Marriage
One of the most heartbreaking things we hear from betrayed spouses is,
“They say they’ve never felt this way before.
That they think the affair partner is their soulmate.
How do I compete with that?”
It’s devastating. But it’s also not uncommon. Many affairs, especially emotionally charged ones, are driven by a powerful experience called limerence. It’s a form of obsessive, addictive love that creates a kind of emotional high—what some call love sickness. For many unfaithful spouses, the affair begins as a connection or friendship, but then quickly transforms into an intense, all-consuming attachment that feels impossible to walk away from.
Often, that intensity is compared to the quieter, steadier love they feel toward their spouse—what researchers call companionship love. And because limerence feels more “alive,” more urgent, they mistake it for the real thing.
But here’s the truth: limerence is not real love. And companionship love—though less flashy—is more stable, meaningful, and capable of lasting a lifetime. We’re going to break both down in the following sections ahead.
Understanding Anxious Attachment Style: Causes, Symptoms, and the Path to Healing
Have you ever felt like you care too much in relationships—only to end up feeling not quite enough? You love deeply, you show up fully, and still… there’s a pit in your stomach when they don’t text back. You replay conversations, scan for rejection, and wonder, “Is it me?” If that sounds familiar, this article is for you.