When You Defend the Spouse Who Was Unfaithful to Family and Friends
Betrayal is painful enough. But defending the spouse who broke your heart—to family and friends who are furious and want you to hate them—feels like standing in an emotional crossfire. You can’t fully let go of love, even when trust is shattered. That’s what makes it so complicated. Let’s talk about why.
I've Just Been Cheated On What Should I Do? 11 Crucial Mistakes to Avoid
It doesn’t come with sirens. There’s no flashing red light, no earthquake.
The day betrayal hits you often looks… ordinary.
For Sarah, it was a Tuesday. Her husband left his phone face-up on the kitchen counter, the way he always did.
Except this time, there was a name she didn’t recognize. And then there were the texts.
The word “affair” has a kind of historical weight to it—like something that happens to people in novels, or to politicians on the news.
But the moment it enters your personal vocabulary, it doesn’t feel literary. It feels like drowning.
Here’s what most people don’t realize: The discovery of infidelity is a kind of trauma.
And trauma doesn’t care how strong you are.
It just strikes.
And yet—this is also the moment something else begins.
Something quieter, but equally powerful.
The opportunity to heal.
19 Things the Unfaithful Partner Wished the Betrayed Knew
There are mainly two groups within the unfaithful partners that we will consider in this article. The motivated unfaithful partner and the unmotivated unfaithful partner.
The unmotivated partner may not always know what to do. They may feel helpless that things can’t really change.
The motivated partner may be afraid of losing their spouse. They too aren’t always sure of what to do.
In either case the list below will shed some light on what goes on in the mind of the one who had an affair. This would also apply to anyone who has had multiple affairs as well.
One Simple Exercise to Get Your Spouse to Open Up And Be Honest
I Just Found Out My Spouse Cheated, Now What?
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If you just found out your spouse cheated on you, you may be wondering what do I do? If, so, if you're asking a question like that, I'm really sorry that you're in that place. That is a terrible place to be. I've had clients in the past, tell me they would rather go back to Iraq again, get shot at I've had clients tell me that they would rather find out they have cancer again and find out their spouse had cheated on them. And so you, so I'm really sorry you're in that spot. It's a very devastating place to be in. It is a nightmare scenario. So I'm really sorry if you're in the spot where your spouse is cheating on you, and you're wondering, what should I do? And I want to give you three pieces of advice…