Personally, I don’t think so. I’m friendly and courteous, but I don’t maintain close friendships with the opposite sex because I don’t see a need for it. In my opinion, the risks outweigh the benefits.
This dilemma reminds me of the classic debate from When Harry Met Sally, where Harry argues that men and women can’t truly be friends because one person always wants more.
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Research supports this idea—studies show that the number one trait people seek in a romantic partner isn’t looks or wealth, but kindness.
The problem? In opposite-sex friendships, kindness can sometimes be misinterpreted as romantic interest, creating attraction where none existed before.
Additionally, human nature makes us prone to comparison. We tend to idealize what we don’t have and long for the “greener grass.”
If an opposite-sex friendship starts to feel more fulfilling than a marriage or committed relationship, it can create a dangerous emotional shift—one that pulls attention and emotional investment away from one’s partner.
For these reasons, I believe maintaining strong boundaries in opposite-sex friendships is crucial, especially for those in committed relationships.
Discover How Friendship Becomes an Emotional Affair. Click Here to Read More
I also think it’s difficult for men to maintain purely platonic relationships with women over time without developing some level of romantic or physical attraction. Eventually, thoughts of "what if" may arise, complicating the dynamic.
Interestingly, research shows that before the rise of internet dating, 60% of couples met the old-fashioned way—starting as friends first.
This suggests that even casual friendships have the potential to turn into something more.
Ultimately, I believe that forming deep emotional bonds with the opposite sex while in a committed relationship is playing with fire.
If you want a lighthearted take on this, check out the video below—many people agree with me!
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