Facing The Pain Of Divorce

I remember watching as my dad drove away that day, this time for good.

I couldn’t make sense of the situation. “Was it my fault, why is dad leaving?”

I was fortunate that my dad remained in my life but the pain of the split, and what was to come, no one should experience.

My mom remarried an awful abusive man who who had two sons.

I was too young to understand the infidelities my father had committed and didn’t understand why I was tormented by my step family.

But somewhere deep inside I resolved to let no one else experience the sort of pain I endured as a young kid.

We all have choices. My choice was to seek healing as a result of my parent’s divorce. I didn’t want anyone to suffer the way I did. So I became a marriage therapist.

We can either make the most of what life has given us or do nothing and stay confused and afraid of doing the wrong thing.

It was that life experience that led me to search for a way to make a difference in the lives of families all over Oklahoma and now the world.

Today we have the best reviewed couples therapy practice in the midwest. You can learn more about it here.

But before I became known for couples counseling and before Marriage Solutions even existed we actually had some pretty interesting twists and turns that we share in this blog.

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Are You Motivated To Work On Your Relationship?

Maybe you have kids and you worry that if you don’t do something to heal your marriage that your son or daughter will end up being raised by someone who abuses them? Maybe you’ve heard of the Cinderella Effect and it terrifies you.
But maybe they won’t be abused…because there are many wonderful step parents out there. Morgan's dad adopted her and he was wonderful. Maybe you are one of those awesome adoptive or step parents but you could use some help blending your family.
Maybe it’s just the thought that you won’t be able to be with your baby through out their daily life. Does the possibility of loosing that relationship kill you a little inside?
Maybe you just don’t want your marriage to fail, you probably didn’t get married thinking, “Awesome in a couple of years this relationship will fail and I will have to start over again, yippy!”

How Has Divorce Impacted Your Life?

Tell us your story in the comments below.

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Traditional Marriage Counseling Doesn't Work

You read that right: traditional marriage counseling doesn’t work for healing infidelity.

Lots of couples who come to our workshop found this out the hard way.

It cost them time and money but more importantly, it cost them hope. They were giving the most important time to someone who simply couldn’t help.

The biggest open secret among therapists is they don’t know how to treat infidelity. Surveys consistently show that marriage counselors do not feel adequately prepared for affair recovery.

What are traditional marriage counselors doing that is so damaging?

In marriage counseling the focus is on the marriage. It’s very common that the affair is never even discussed at all…

The 3 Part Formula to Forgiving After Broken Trust

How do you forgive someone when they sought to destroy you? The underlying question is also WHY? Why forgive?

Forgiveness is not for the transgressor. It’s for the person who was hurt. Our bitterness and anger eats at our mental and emotional wellbeing. It impacts all of our relationships.

You may have heard the saying, “unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping another person dies”. It’s wanting to punish someone else while actually punishing ourselves.

We focus more on the 3 elements needed to forgive in this article. We do that by examining briefly what unforgiveness looks like. Then we look at what happens internally as we forgive.

19 Things the Unfaithful Partner Wished the Betrayed Knew

There are mainly two groups within the unfaithful partners that we will consider in this article. The motivated unfaithful partner and the unmotivated unfaithful partner.

The unmotivated partner may not always know what to do. They may feel helpless that things can’t really change.

The motivated partner may be afraid of losing their spouse. They too aren’t always sure of what to do.

In either case the list below will shed some light on what goes on in the mind of the one who had an affair. This would also apply to anyone who has had multiple affairs as well.

When You're Not Married And Working Through Infidelity - Catherine and Joe

It's been extremely helpful. Me, as the betrayer in the relationship, being able to work through the why on the other side of it has been extremely beneficial to better understand how past trauma has brought me to this point and has caused me to take actions to get us to this point, along with how to communicate better and to have a better emotional awareness and tools in order to get there. Because I think with better emotional awareness, both personally and in our relationship, we can talk through these things without getting to the point that we had in the past. So it's been life-changing, and especially for our relationship extremely beneficial…

How To Heal Even When The Hurt Spouse Is Checked Out - Jim and Anna

The workshop's been great. It has brought to light a lot that I was unaware of even being married for 20 years to the woman that I've loved. There are many things that I need to work on as well as both of us as a couple. But it has definitely shed new light on why my spouse possibly did what she did,

Planning A Trip To Tulsa? Here Are 6 Proven Dates Planned Just For You

When people travel to Oklahoma from around the world to join our Healing Broken Trust workshop one of the biggest questions I get is “what is there to do in Oklahoma?”

It’s a fair question.

Should You Tell Your Kids About the Affair?

Should you tell the kids about the affair? If you must say something…what should you say? How should you say it? When is the right time to say it?

How To Have The Best Conversations And Still Deal With Triggers After Betrayal - Finn and Stella

“After every day [of the workshop] I actually felt better. Which I was shocked by.”

“By the end of it I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. We’ve had the best conversations I think we’ve ever had”

“I had so many breakthrough”

Grow As We Go

We all know marriage is rough sometimes. Lots of highs and lots of lows.

Sometimes we may wonder if we made too many mistakes or maybe we shouldn’t be together.

We often hear people say “my partner needs to work on themselves before we work on our relationship”. They need to fix themselves before we can fix us.

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One Simple Exercise to Get Your Spouse to Open Up And Be Honest

Are You Motivated To Work On Your Relationship?

How Has Divorce Impacted Your Life?

You read that right: traditional marriage counseling doesn’t work for healing infidelity.

We focus more on the 3 elements needed to forgive in this article. We do that by examining briefly what unforgiveness looks like. Then we look at what happens internally as we forgive.

Brad and Morgan

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