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Traditional Marriage Counseling Doesn't Work

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You read that right: traditional marriage counseling doesn’t work for healing infidelity. 

Lots of couples who come to our workshop found this out the hard way.

It cost them time and money but more importantly, it cost them hope. They were giving the most important time to someone who simply couldn’t help.  

The biggest open secret among therapists is they don’t know how to treat infidelity.  Surveys consistently show that marriage counselors do not feel adequately prepared for affair recovery.

What are traditional marriage counselors doing that is so damaging?

In marriage counseling the focus is on the marriage.  It’s very common that the affair is never even discussed at all…  

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The 3 Part Formula to Forgiving After Broken Trust

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The 3 Part Formula to Forgiving After Broken Trust

How do you forgive someone when they sought to destroy you? The underlying question is also WHY? Why forgive?

Forgiveness is not for the transgressor. It’s for the person who was hurt. Our bitterness and anger eats at our mental and emotional wellbeing. It impacts all of our relationships.

You may have heard the saying, “unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping another person dies”. It’s wanting to punish someone else while actually punishing ourselves.

We focus more on the 3 elements needed to forgive in this article. We do that by examining briefly what unforgiveness looks like. Then we look at what happens internally as we forgive.

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19 Things the Unfaithful Partner Wished the Betrayed Knew

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19 Things the Unfaithful Partner Wished the Betrayed Knew

There are mainly two groups within the unfaithful partners that we will consider in this article. The motivated unfaithful partner and the unmotivated unfaithful partner.

The unmotivated partner may not always know what to do. They may feel helpless that things can’t really change.

The motivated partner may be afraid of losing their spouse. They too aren’t always sure of what to do.

In either case the list below will shed some light on what goes on in the mind of the one who had an affair. This would also apply to anyone who has had multiple affairs as well.

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When You're Not Married And Working Through Infidelity - Catherine and Joe

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When You're Not Married And Working Through Infidelity - Catherine and Joe

It's been extremely helpful. Me, as the betrayer in the relationship, being able to work through the why on the other side of it has been extremely beneficial to better understand how past trauma has brought me to this point and has caused me to take actions to get us to this point, along with how to communicate better and to have a better emotional awareness and tools in order to get there. Because I think with better emotional awareness, both personally and in our relationship, we can talk through these things without getting to the point that we had in the past. So it's been life-changing, and especially for our relationship extremely beneficial…

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How To Heal Even When The Hurt Spouse Is Checked Out - Jim and Anna

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How To Heal Even When The Hurt Spouse Is Checked Out - Jim and Anna

The workshop's been great. It has brought to light a lot that I was unaware of even being married for 20 years to the woman that I've loved. There are many things that I need to work on as well as both of us as a couple. But it has definitely shed new light on why my spouse possibly did what she did,

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How To Have The Best Conversations And Still Deal With Triggers After Betrayal - Finn and Stella

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How To Have The Best Conversations And Still Deal With Triggers After Betrayal - Finn and Stella

“After every day [of the workshop] I actually felt better. Which I was shocked by.”

“By the end of it I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. We’ve had the best conversations I think we’ve ever had”

“I had so many breakthrough”

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