Ep 6: #1 Secret to Healing
Yeah, we're going to explain a necessary and important step to healing from an affair. And I want to present a balanced view to this because this can be taken in such an extreme that it's very, very, very unhealthy for a couple and for their marriage.
Because ultimately what we're doing when we are recovering from an affair, is we are dealing with trauma and we are helping the marriage get back on track. We're not just helping one individual get back on track. And so that's what we are working for. And so what I want to talk about is really how we can have the betrayer become…
Ep 7: Why Do Some People Never Really Get Over Infidelity, Communicate So Poorly, Avoid, or Fight, & Never Get To The Truth?
Transcript:
Brad: Let me just give you a little recap. Five types of negative cycles--I only want to focus on three of these. One is a complex cycle that usually involves someone who's survived some of trauma. And then the other cycle is when one person gets burned out, usually the one that has been pushing for things gets burned out.
And so, I'll explain that in a second. The three most basic types are the pursuer-distancer cycle--distancing is commonly known as withdrawing and so this is the most common cycle where you have a demanding spouse interacting with a withdrawing or distancing partner. And that pattern, the distancing or stonewalling position is shut down, non-responsive spouse.
And when they experience that, it's often a feeling of panic or aggression or anger where the pursuer says I'm going to make you respond to me. That's what the pursuer really want, is they want to get a response and sometimes when they don't get it, they force it. They want closeness and to feel important and needed.