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Ep 90 - Why the Betrayed Struggle Without Answers

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Ep 90 - Why the Betrayed Struggle Without Answers

What the betrayed want the unfaithful to know about full disclosure

When people who’ve been betrayed come into our workshops, we hear the same needs over and over. They aren’t asking for details to punish or control—they’re asking because their mind won’t rest without answers. 

Betrayal leaves them confused, unsafe, and questioning what was real. Without clear and consistent truth, their imagination fills in the gaps, trust stays broken, and healing stalls. At the same time, they don’t want every detail—they want the kind of honesty that restores safety instead of causing more harm. Over time, we’ve learned that these needs follow clear patterns. What we’re talking about today are the most common things betrayed partners tell us they want the unfaithful to understand about why the details of the affair matter so much.

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Ep 89 - Why does my partner freeze, shut down, or say the wrong thing when I’m falling apart?

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Why do they shut down when you’re falling apart? Why do they say the exact wrong thing when you need comfort the most?

In this episode, we step inside the aftermath of infidelity and unpack a question many betrayed partners silently ask: Why does the person who hurt me seem incapable of showing up now?

We explore the emotional paralysis that often overtakes the unfaithful partner — the freezing, defensiveness, and withdrawal that can feel like a second betrayal. You’ll hear what’s really happening beneath the surface: crushing shame, terror of losing everything, and guilt so overwhelming it shuts down connection instead of repairing it.

This conversation sheds light on why boundaries become confusing, why accountability feels inconsistent, and why your pain can feel unbearable for the person who caused it — even when they want to fix things. Most importantly, we discuss what actually helps move conversations forward, rebuild safety, and interrupt the painful cycles that keep couples stuck.

If you’re a betrayed spouse searching for clarity, validation, and a path toward healing — whether together or on your own — this episode offers insight you won’t want to miss.

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Ep 83 - Why Do We Remember the Details So Differently?

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In this episode, Brad and Morgan Robinson delve into the complex dynamics of memory and betrayal in relationships. Discover why both partners remember infidelity differently and how these memory gaps can impact healing and reconciliation. Explore the roles of victim and perpetrator, and learn about the psychological and emotional processes that occur after trust is broken. With insights from historical truth commissions and personal anecdotes, this episode offers valuable perspectives on navigating the aftermath of betrayal. Whether you're seeking to understand your own experiences or support a loved one, this episode provides essential tools and strategies for healing broken trust.

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Ep 77: Secret Trait of Serial Offenders

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Ep 77: Secret Trait of Serial Offenders

A person gets caught in an affair. They see the devastation it wreaks on their spouse—the betrayed partner—and, wracked with guilt, they make a solemn vow. They promise themselves, often in a moment of raw honesty, “Never again.” It feels earnest, weighty, even unbreakable. But is a vow enough to prevent them from straying again?

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Ep 71 - 23 Things the Betrayed Wants the Unfaithful Partner to Know After Affair(s)

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I can love you and hate you at the same time.

  1. Just because I haven’t forgiven you yet, doesn’t mean I don’t want to.

  2. Don’t give up on me.

  3. I feel alone anytime I’m triggered and you’re not there.

  4. I need reassurance in a lot of little and big ways….

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Ep 4: How To Fall Out Of Love With The Affair Partner

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In this episode we talk about how to fall out of love with the affair partner. We give you 11 things to consider when cutting them out of your life.

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Ep 5: 1st Steps To Truly Healing And Moving On

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One of the first steps to healing is to get started. Listen to this and then join us for the Complete Healing Broken Trust Program

Has it been hard to break out of the negative feedback loop?

If you have listened to our podcast you are familiar with the patterns of interaction that keeps couples stuck in the healing process.

It's what makes communication so dang hard!  And ultimately what makes healing together pretty impossible.

Yesterday I outlined the 4 crucial components to Healing Broken Trust completely.

Check out 31 Secrets to Healing Broken Trust Minicourse

Today let's talk about the Application stage of the puzzle.

The reason so many struggle to get out of the negative patterns of interaction AKA Negative Feedback Loop is because:

You need help taking the head knowledge and making it heart knowledge.

No other counselor, therapist, coach, program, book, or vacation can do this for you like we can.

But why not?

Simple, it's not taught in school.

 

Let me give an example...

I was speaking with a man the other day who said that his therapist told him that he needed to forgive his wife.  

The therapist said he needed to write it down on a piece of paper and bury it in the backyard and never bring it up again.

Sadly this is common.  Have you been told this before?  How would that work for you?

The problem is, not only is it extremely dismissive of his feelings and needs, but it's going to make the underlying issues that caused the affair so much worse!

But bless the therapist's heart he was doing his best! 

Frankly, you deserve better.  So does everyone you love and ever will love because this is your whole life we're talking about here!!

Over the last 16 years we've worked with couples 1-on-1 and in workshops and have helped them actually heal.  

 

We know what other helpers don't know.

  • We know that you can't do marriage work when trust is still broken....that means a vacation won't fix it.

 

  • We know how to heal your emotions so you can actually be present with your spouse so trust can be restored....boy it's hard to talk when you're upset.

 

  • We know how to give you long term results so you don't stay stuck in patterns that give you the same old results over and over.

 

There's so much more...

The point is you need the right person, with the right skills and knowledge, to help you apply the information you're learning.

And someone who knows how to get to the heart of the matter so you're not spinning your wheels wasting years of your life.

 

How we help...

1. Join the program HERE

2. You'll be able to immediately login and work through our couples master class and individual master class simultaneously.

3. Listen to a pre-recorded workshop and/or RSVP for a upcoming live workshop. 

4. And join the live weekly group meetings

Podcast Downloads Available HERE